Redefining Selfish No Guilt. No Regrets. By Carolyn Hobdey Review

Reviewed by Liz Squires

They do say to never judge a book by its cover but to be perfectly honest I really struggled not to with this publication. The first thing that jumped out to me was the way the authors name was written across the ill-fitting cover “CaROLYN HOBDeY”. I’m not sure if this was a purposeful design or not but it unsettled me and I automatically began looking for other imperfections and flaws within the cover. There is a fine 0.5mm-1mm gap that creates a ledge of pages from the cover to the inside of the book which I just cannot ignore. Not to mention the random and completely unnecessary full stop after the author’s name that is a different colour to the name itself which just makes no sense.

Anyway, moving on to the content of the book; it’s fair to say that many people struggle with the word ‘No’ they don’t like hearing it and they certainly struggle to say it. They struggle to say they don’t want to do something and they end up catering to others for the majority of their life. Before people leave the Earth to move on to other plane their last statement before they take their last breath tends to be “I wish I’d lived the life I wanted, not the life other people wanted me to live”. We spend so much of our life trying to please other people, adapting and evolving to what we think other people want us to be that ultimately, we lose ourselves, spending the rest of our lives having no idea who we are or what we want.

Carolyn Hobdey with her book ‘Redefining Selfish No Guilt. No Regrets.’ is an easy-to-get along with, relatable book, that challenges the notion that being selfish as a negative act. But it’s not! This book helps people who struggle to understand that saying no could quite possibly save their life. Looking after yourself and being kind to yourself is a necessity, a basic human right and need. Being able to say you are taking time out for you and that you are not doing something for someone else is not selfish and you shouldn’t feel guilty or regret saying no.

With a mixture of; growth mindset techniques, psychological strategies and self-motivated activities, Carolyn Hobdey fills the readers tool box with all the tools they need to build their confidence in taking ownership of self-care. Allowing the reader to be selfish and work through the activities in each letter (S.E.L.F.I.S.H). Directing the reader to her website for resources with a multitude of courses at the back of the book. Carolyn certainly wants to help the reader live their best life as the best version of themselves.

This book has a particularly feminine feel to it and definitely feels as though it’s aimed in the majority for women. I think that’s the right thing to do. Women find themselves in high demand from all areas of their life and easily lose themselves when they become a mother or a wife or both. Many women I know find themselves losing their identity and just becoming (in my case) G*****’s (editor’s note – name removed) Mum and N***;s (editor’s note – name removed) Wife. With pressures and demands of working environments and family dynamics women are expected to juggle many aspects of life and many of them don’t take any time out for themselves.

In-short it’s a book I’ll be keeping and will no doubt be referring back to regularly to reinforce and remind me that its ok to say no, and it’s ok to be selfish. Especially when its at no detriment to other people.

Rating: 4/5

RRP: £8.99 (paperback)

The book can be purchased from www.carolynhobdey.com