Andy Kirkpatrick Inappropriate Climbing Review
Andy Kirkpatrick
Inappropriate Climbing
Birmingham Town Hall
31 March 2014
Reviewed by Jane Hopkins MBE
Andy Kirkpatrick is a best-selling author, fast talking comedian and weathered big wall climbing maverick mountaineer. To the uninitiated, to climb the likes of Everest is an impressive task but to the Andy Kirkpatrick types, it would be child’s play. This is his fifth theatre tour, reliving adventures and anecdotes, this time including a climb with his daughter. He is funny, he clearly climbs because he loves it, and without a humour like his, I really don’t think anyone could keep going like he does.
Andy came to the simple, black curtained backdrop with a laptop and projection screen as his only props. Dressed as a typical climber – jeans and a check shirt, he blended in with the audience who were a sea of fleeces and walking boots. His speech takes a little getting used to; he speaks at rapid pace, his Hull accent shining through, at times subtitles would be welcome.
He’s an unassuming chap, doesn’t take himself too seriously, happy to have a pop at himself. He’s lacking in fear, and frankly he should be dead by now, the scrapes he’s got himself into is shocking but nothing fazes his cool exterior, which when you’re hanging off the side of a mountain with a loose fitting nut in a crag you really don’t need to be panicking.
I was surprisingly more familiar with Andy Kirkpatrick as I thought; just a few days earlier I’d seen him on CBBC with his daughter, Ella. He once said that when she was 13, he’d take her up “El Cap”. Now, El Cap is short for El Capitain, a big rock in Yosemite national park in California. To climb it, takes 4 days and nights. There’s nowhere to sit, stand or sleep up there so you have to hoist your own sleeping kit, and enough food and water and you sleep, hanging off the rock face.
As soon as Ella was nearing her 13th birthday she told people she was going to climb El Cap with her Dad, Andy says “But I was only joking!” but she’s a confident young thing and with the BBC involved they made it happen. It was a riveting show, and I was in awe of her, so hearing her nutty father speak about it, was a real treat. And Ella became the youngest person to ever climb it.
His life of climbing is very much a story about friendship, a true passion for the sport unites these extreme outdoor types, he told us of times he’s been climbing with relative strangers, he says he’ll climb with anyone although I’m really not sure Bear Grylls is included in that; Andy is not a fan!
When planning a revisit to a previously unconquered wall, he’d call people he once met who he ‘liked spending time with’, to ask them if they “fancy the troll in winter?” The Troll wall is a huge 3500 feet vertical cliff in Norway. Even in summer it only sees just a little morning sun, in winter ice fills the cracks, it isn’t a solid wall, it’s loose so continual rockfall is a perilous obstacle, storms are frequent, drizzle turns to sleet, falling ice, slippery conditions… Unsurprisingly mountain rescues on this wall are illegal so if you get stuck or injured up there, you’re on your own pal. And the Norwegian farmer who lives at the base sums it up, he asked Andy upon his first visit – a solo climb “Ave you heard about the others?”
Yes a solo climb, madness. He made it close to the top but couldn’t quite reach the summit so he turned back. But later he asked two friends, or rather acquaintances to go with him, in winter. Being as maverick as Andy – which they all seem to be, they agreed without hesitation. But astonishingly, they were not experienced climbers, one was a skier and the other had never climbed outdoors. They were both better skiers than climbers but it really didn’t seem to matter to them. It’s attitude that’s more important and with some near death experiences on their way up the wall, enduring two weeks in temperatures as low as -20 they made it, a feat that is believed to be the first ever winter ascent, and only the fourth ascent overall of this huge 18 pitch route.
He’s an inspirational chap too. He told of someone he met – Steve, a ginger headed Norwegian who was going blind Andy mentioned he should climb El Cap before his sight went completely; a year later he bumped into Steve who told him he was climbing El Cap. “Really? Who gave you that idea??!” well actually…
He uses a collection of vertigo-inducing photographs and video clips to add excitement to his adventures, personally it’s not something I would do in a hurry and, unlike Andy you simply couldn’t pay me enough to get me up there. But I’m delighted to listen to his stories.
Andy’s tales are told with enthusiasm and honesty, as all climbers, they don’t get paid, which is why he writes books and tours. There is no sign of fatigue from this chap, he will keep going I’m sure until he takes his last breath and I look forward to catching up with his future adventures, and seeing where his fearless daughter Ella goes.
Rating: 5/5 
For more information on tour dates visit www.andy-kirkpatrick.com.
Town Hall Birmingham, Victoria Square, Birmingham, UK, B3 3DQ | Box Office 0121 345 0600
